Mini Crisis Averted!

With less than 3 months to go my mind is focused on wedding stuff more often than not. I was a good sister last night and talked to all 4 of my siblings-- the twins are doing well & enjoying school, Chris is excited about coming to Europe in less than a month, and Cassidy... well she and I are so in the same boat. It is still nuts to me that my lil sister got engaged, and will be married, before I am. When I talked to Courtney (the youngest twin), she told me that Cassidy had picked a reception date: May 11. As in, the day after my bachelorette party and the afternoon before Jess & I hop a red-eye to St Lucia. If she did have it May 11, I more or less wouldn't be able to go. Chris, in all his stressy grad-school glory, echoed my sentiments as that is right around finals for him. I decided I better have words with the middle King child...

When I say Cassidy and I are in the same boat, I mean that in a few ways: we both want something simple (although we both realize now there is NO such thing as a "simple" wedding), and we are facing pressure from outside parties as to how to do "our" weddings. Her fiance's parents first insisted that they have their reception within a week of the ceremony. Well, her ceremony at SF City Hall is March 28. Only 6 people can go to that, so between his parents, our parents & our stepdad, that doesn't leave much room for anyone else. They are also having a dinner that night at which neither myself nor Chris will be in attendance (as we'll be together in Prague). She did have the good sense to invite Jess, and Jess is being a good sport about facing the crazy Kings and the soon-to-be Bosnian in-laws without me there to protect him. So when I heard this news about the reception, which could theoretically be ANY day she wanted, I got a tad upset.

She told me she was insisting to his parents that they had to wait until I was home. She thought Jess & I were leaving May 12 (which I had thought too-- no, we ARRIVE in St Lucia on May 12 after a 10PM flight on the 11th), so she picked the 11th. But I told her I would be home the first weekend in May, PLEASE do it then. At the risk of sounding Bridezilla here, May 9-11 is MY weekend!!! But surprisingly enough, Cassidy was more than OK with this-- it would make Hari's parents happier to have it earlier, and it would allow me & my other female family members to fully enjoy my bachelorette party. Yay.

Apparently Hari's mom is full-on taking over the reception planning, which Cassidy doesn't seem to mind as it's less work for her. But when I spoke to my dad a few days ago, he also is keen to help out, so I am worried there will be a bit of a conflict if Cassidy's future mom-in-law insists on taking full control. If I were back home I am sure I'd be one of the big planners too, but instead I insisted that I get to throw Cassidy a bachelorette party once I am back from St Lucia (she won't technically be a bachelorette by that point, but every girl needs a bachelorette party!).

I could so relate when Cass told me that most of her & Hari's arguments these days were over the wedding plans. I got a bit upset yesterday after Jess mentioned that we should try to have our ceremony earlier than September-- not because WE want to, but because it would make other people happier. All due respect to friends & family, but this is not their wedding. It's ours. We should be able to do it how we want, when we want, and not get a guilt-trip about it. Besides, I won't even be able to seriously look for a job (and therefore, save up money) until late May anyway, leaving me with only 4 months to work as much as possible, earn as much as possible AND plan a September wedding.

I randomly started researching banquet halls yesterday, and got majorly depressed. Everything is so expensive! I don't envision something with lots of flowers & a sit-down dinner; my vision is something casual, an hors d'oeuvres buffet or something (which, when I was talking to Christina, would be easy enough to recruit friends & family to help make plenty of), and a dance floor with a DJ set up for all of our DJ friends (who will, of course, take care of the music). No formal photographer, as we have plenty of friends with amazing skills and expensive cameras to handle that. I won't wear the St Lucia dress-- I will actually go out and get a more formal gown-- and we won't have a formal bridal party, though we may recruit a few close friends to give speeches and maybe have them wear the same color or something. That would be the family-friendly affair.

My MAIN hope for my wedding, as it would only be appropriate, is to have the after-party at The EndUp (www.theendup.com). That IS where the story of Nikki & Jess began anyway (well OK it technically started with me meeting Brad at Ruby Skye, then us joining forces at the SF LoveParade in 2006). Well, it is where I first kissed my now future husband anyway. I am sure we could rent it out for a few hours, the DJ friends could do their thing, so on & so forth. So here's hoping. Maybe have the reception outdoors at a park, hire a shuttle to drive people to the EU afterward? No idea. All I know is I can't picture my Gram really enjoying herself at a place like the EU, even if her granddaughter were getting married there! Hence the need for 2 locales.

Jess and I agreed we wouldn't even talk about the reception until after St Lucia, but with all this planning (and the fact that I have nothing else to do in Troyes) it's pretty hard not to!!!

83 days until the wedding!